Logical explanation

This is an explanation sent to me on WhatsApp-

It turns out that there's a scientific and logical explanation for why people (mostly men) spend so much time in pubs and only get home in the early hours of the morning. The reason for this odd behavior is based on Einstein's famous Relativity Theory.
It works like this:  It is a well-known fact that the more you drink, the faster you move.  After about 8 beers (or 4 double brandies & coke, etc), you're moving at close to the speed of light, and this is where Einstein enters the picture.  According to his Relativity Theory, anybody moving at, or close to the speed of light, undergoes Time Dilation, i.e. time for you in the pub passes slower than for an observer outside the pub.

Complicated calculations have shown that the pub becomes a type of time machine:- for every half-hour spent inside the pub, something like two hours pass outside the pub.  A typical situation is: "OK guys, it's 8 o'clock, I'm gonna surprise the family and get home early!!" However, the moment this person steps outside the pub, the time travel effect is negated by negative radiation from the environment, and he/she then goes:" Why is it so quiet?? OMG!!! It's half past one!! WHAT HAPPENED???!!??" .and the answer, of course, is Time Dilation!!

I've tried to explain this to outside observers, but so far nobody (except Fellow time travellers) have been able or willing to understand the sound Scientific basis of this phenomenon.  Please forward this to all your known time travellers - maybe we can prove this theory by sheer, overwhelming force of numbers.

why they were quite

From whatsapp



I daily observe a group of ladies sitting in the park Talking and Laughing Loudly.

One day I observed all the ladies were silent. There must be some Serious issue or Incident Happened.

So I went to a Lady and asked, "Why everybody is Silent Today?"

The Lady replied, "All Are Present Today."

It took me a whole minute to understand this. 😜😝

ISRAELI AIRPORT SECURITY

ISRAELI AIRPORT SECURITY����
 
What a simple and brilliant idea! I particularly like the 'spare' seat announcement!!  It's hard to beat Israeli technology!

TEL AVIV, Israel - The Israelis are developing an airport security device  that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners.

It's an armored booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your person.

Israel sees this as a win-win situation for everyone, with none of this crap about racial profiling. It will also eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials.

You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter, an announcement:

"Attention to all standby passengers, El Al is pleased to announce a seat available on Flight 670 to London.

Shalom!"

Winning is collective

As received
nice to share

There was a farmer who grew excellent quality corn. Every year he won the award for the best grown corn.����

One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learned something interesting about how he grew it.

The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbors.

“How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbors when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?” the reporter asked.

“Why sir,” said the farmer, “Didn’t you know? The wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field.
If my neighbours grow inferior corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbours grow good corn.”

So is with our lives...
Those who want to live meaningfully and well must help enrich the lives of others, for the value of a life is measured by the lives it touches. And those who choose to be happy must help others find happiness, for the welfare of each is bound up with the welfare of all...

-Call it power of collectivity...

-Call it a principle of success...

-Call it a law of life.

The fact is,
none of us truly wins,
until we all win!!

Old men are not stupid

Shared by others on WHATSAPP

A girl was with her
father when she
saw her boyfriend
coming:

GIRL: Have you come
to collect the book
titled "DADDY IS AT
HOME?" by
O Pamuk

BOY: No, I want that
book of hymns
called "WHERE
SHOULD I WAIT FOR
YOU?"

GIRL: I don't have
that one but may
be you should take
the other one titled
"UNDER THE MANGO
TREE" by
Girish K

BOY: Fine, but don't
forget to bring the new Retail Management guide CALL YOU IN 5
MINUTES" while
coming to school.

GIRL: I will also bring
you a new one
titled"I WON'T LET
YOU DOWN" by
C. Bhagat

DAD: Those books
are too many, will
he read them all?

GIRL: Yes dad, he is
very smart &
intelligent.

DAD: Okay don't
forget to give him
the one on the table
titled "OLD MEN ARE NOT
STUPID" by Robin
Sharma!
����

Someday one day

True as available on Whatsapp. I thank the writer of this.

_LOVELY..... A MUST READ!_

*SOME DAY & ONE DAY*

_A friend of mine opened his wife's wardrobe and picked up a silk paper wrapped package._

_"This," he said, "isn't any ordinary package."_

_He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box and silk satin dresses inside._

_"She got this the first time we went to New York , 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on , was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is it."_

_He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothing he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died._

_He turned to me and said, "never save something for a 'special occasion'. Every day in your life is a *'Special occasion'"*_

_I still think those words changed my life._

_Now I read more and clean less._

_I sit on the porch without worrying about anything._

_I spend more time with my family, and less at work._

*_I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through._*

_I no longer keep anything._

_I use crystal glasses every day._

_I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if I feel like it._

*_I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to._*

_The words *'Someday....' and ' One Day...'*are fading away from my dictionary._

_If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now._

_I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell._

_*Each day, each hour, each minute, is special.*_

_Live for today, for tomorrow is promised to no-one._

_If you're too busy to send this out to other people and you say to yourself that you will send it 'One of these days', remember that *'One day' is far away... or might never come.....*_

Life after 40

Wonderful message which I received on Whatsapp-worth sharing

*LIFE AFTER 40*

*An interesting article.*

Life can begin at 40, it is all in your hands! Many people feel unhappy, health-wise and security-wise, after 40 years of age, owing to the diminishing importance given to them and their opinions. But, it need not be so, if only we understand the basic principles of life and follow them scrupulously.

Here are ten mantras to age gracefully and make life after retirement pleasant.

1. *Never say I am aged' :*

There are three ages, chronological, biological, and psychological. The first is calculated based on our date of birth; the second is determined by the health conditions; the third is how old we feel we are.

While we don't have control over the first, we can take care of our health with good diet, exercise and a cheerful attitude. A positive attitude and optimistic thinking can reverse the third age.

2. *Health is wealth:*

If you really love your kith and kin, taking care of your health should be your priority.

Thus, you will not be a burden to them. Have an annual health check-up and take the prescribed medicines regularly. Do take health insurance coverage.

3. *Money is important:*

Money is essential for meeting the basic necessities of life, keeping good health and earning family respect and security. Don't spend beyond your means even for your children. You have lived for them all through and it is time you enjoyed a harmonious life with your spouse. If your children are grateful and they take care of you, you are blessed. But, never take it for granted.

4. *Relaxation and recreation:*

The most relaxing and recreating forces are a healthy religious attitude, good sleep, music and laughter. Have faith in God, learn to sleep well, love good music and see the funny side of life.

5. *Time is precious:*

It is almost like holding a horses' reins. When they are in your hands, you can control them. Imagine that everyday you are born again.

Yesterday is a cancelled cheque.

Tomorrow is a promissory note. Today is ready cash - use it profitably. Live this moment; live it fully, now, in the present time.

6. *Change is the only permanent thing:*

We should accept change - it is inevitable. The only way to make sense out of change is to join in the dance. Change has brought about many pleasant things. We should be happy that our children are blessed.

7. *Enlightened selfishness:*

All of us are basically selfish. Whatever we do, we expect something in return. We should definitely be grateful to those who stood by us. But, our focus should be on the internal satisfaction and the happiness we derive by doing good for others, without expecting anything in return. Perform a random act of kindness daily.

8. *Forget and forgive:*

Don't be bothered too much about others' mistakes. We are not spiritual enough to show our other cheek when we are slapped on one. But for the sake of our own health and happiness, let us forgive and forget them. Otherwise, we will be only increasing our blood pressure.

9. *Everything has a purpose:*

Take life as it comes. Accept yourself as you are and also accept others for what they are. Everybody is unique and is right in his own way.

10. *Overcome the fear of death:*

We all know that one day we have to leave this world. Still we are afraid of death. We think that our spouse and children will be unable to withstand our loss. But the truth is no one is going to die for you; they may be depressed for some time. Time heals everything and they will go on.

*Pass to all 40 plus you may know ����*

Don't mess with old men-on whatsapp

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

George Phillips of Gold Coast, Australia was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light and saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them." Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response Unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

I LOVE IT - Don't mess with old people!!

Garbage Truck

On whatsapp...unknown writer
*LAW OF THE GARBAGE TRUCK *

_This has to be one of the best messages I have   received because  when you sit and think about it.... It is so true!_

_One day I hopped in a taxi and we took  off for the airport. We were driving in the  right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in  front of us._

_My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded  and missed the other car by just  inches!_

_The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started  yelling at us._
*My taxi driver just smiled and waved at  the guy. I mean, he was really friendly.*

_So I asked,_
*'Why did you just do  that? This guy could almost ruin your car  and sent us to the hospital!'*

_This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call,_ *'Law of the Garbage  Truck'*  

_He explained that_   *many people are like  GARBAGE TRUCKS. They run around full of  garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointments. As and when  their  garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you.*

*Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move  on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to  other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their  day.*

_Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,_ *So ... Love the people who treat you  right. Pray for the ones who don't.*

*Life is 10  %  what you make it.*

_AND_

*90 %  how you take it!*

*HAVE A GARBAGE-FREE LIFE ☺✌*

We can change our life

Hope you like this as received by me on Whatsapp written by some unknown writer.

How a Password Changed my Life ... A true story from the Reader’s Digest ...

I was having a great morning until I sat down in front of my office computer. “your password has expired”, a server message flashed on my screen, with instructions for changing it...In my company we have to change password monthly..
I was deeply depressed after my recent divorce. Disbelief over what she had done to me was what I thought all day.
I remembered a tip I’d heard from my former boss. He’d said, “I’m going to use a password that is going to change my life”. I couldn’t focus on getting things done in my current mood.. My password reminded me that I shouldn’t let myself be a victim of my recent breakup and that I was strong enough to do something about it.

I made my password – Forgive@her. I had to type this password several times every day, each time my computer would lock. Each time I came back from lunch I wrote forgive her.
The simple action changed the way I looked at my ex-wife.. That constant reminder of reconciliation led me to accept the way things happened and helped me deal with my depression.. By the time the server prompted me to change my password following month, I felt free.

The next time I had to change my password I thought about the next thing that I had to get done. My password became Quit@smoking4ever .
It motivated me to follow my goal and I was able to quit smoking.

One month later, my password became Save4trip@europe, and in three months I was able to visit Europe.

Reminders helped me materialize my goals kept me motivated and excited.
. it's sometimes difficult to come up with your next goal, keeping at it brings great results.

After a few months my password was
lifeis#beauTful  !!!

Life is going to change again ����

कुछ रह तो नहीं गया

who wrote I don't know
But is nicely written and received by me on whatsapp

  कुछ रह  तो नहीं गया?

"अरे सब सामान ले लिया क्या? बस में किसी का कुछ रह तो नहीं गया?

"जी सर, सब ले लिया ।" स्कूल ट्रिप से वापिस आये सब बच्चे एक साथ चिल्लाये । और बस से उतरकर घरकी तरफ दौड़ गए ।

"सर, फिर भी बस में देख लेना ।"
हेडमास्टर जी का हुकुम होते ही सर वापिस बस में गए । बस में नजर घुमाते ही पता चला बहुत कुछ रह गया है पीछे । वेफर्स, चॉकलेट के रैपर्स और कोल्ड ड्रिंक पानी की खाली बोतले पड़ी थी । जबतक ये भरे थे, तबतक ये अपने थे । खाली होते ही ये अपने नहीं रहे । जितना हो सके, सर ने कैरी बैग में भर दिया और बस से उतरने लगे ,
"कुछ रह तो नहीं गया ?" हेडमास्टर के फिर से सवाल पूछने पर सर ने हँस के नहीं का इशारा किया ।
पर अब सर का मन "कुछ रह तो नहीं गया?" इस सवाल के इर्द गिर्द घूमने लगा । जिंदगी के हर मोड़पर अलग अलग रूप में यही सवाल परेशान करता है ।
इस सवाल की व्यापकता  इतनी बड़ी होगी ये सर को अभी पता चला ...
बचपन गुजरते गुजरते कुछ खेल खेलना रह तो नहीं  गया?

जवानी में किसी को चाहा पर जताने की हिम्मत नहीं हुई... कुछ रह तो नहीं  गया?

जिंदगी के सफ़र में चलते चलते हर मुकाम पर यही सवाल परेशान करता रहा.... कुछ रह तो नहीं गया?

3 महीने के बच्चे को दाई के पास रखकर जॉब पर जानेवाली माँ को दाई ने पूछा... कुछ रह तो नहीं  गया? पर्स, चाबी सब ले लिया ना?
अब वो कैसे हाँ कहे? पैसे के पीछे भागते भागते... सब कुछ पाने की ख्वाईश में वो जिसके लिये सब कुछ कर रही है ,वह ही रह गया है.....

शादी में दुल्हन को बिदा करते ही
शादी का हॉल खाली करते हुए दुल्हन की बुआ ने पूछा..."भैया, कुछ रह तो नहीं गया ना? चेक करो ठीकसे ।.. बाप चेक करने गया तो दुल्हन के रूम में कुछ फूल सूखे पड़े थे ।  सब कुछ तो पीछे रह गया... 25 साल जो नाम लेकर जिसको आवाज देता था लाड से... वो नाम पीछे रह गया और उस नाम के आगे गर्व से जो नाम लगाता था वो नाम भी पीछे रह गया अब ...

"भैया, देखा? कुछ पीछे तो नहीं रह गया?" बुआ के इस सवाल पर आँखों में आये आंसू छुपाते बाप जुबाँ से तो नहीं बोला....  पर दिल में एक ही आवाज थी... सब कुछ तो यही  रह गया...
बडी तमन्नाओ के साथ बेटे को पढ़ाई के लिए विदेश भेजा था और वह पढ़कर वही सैटल हो गया , पौत्र जन्म पर बमुश्किल 3  माह का वीजा मिला था और चलते वक्त बेटे ने प्रश्न किया सब कुछ चैक कर लिया कुछ रह तो नही गया ? क्या जबाब देते कि अब छूटने को बचा ही क्या है ....
60 वर्ष पूर्ण कर सेवानिवृत्ति  की शाम पी ए ने याद दिलाया चेक कर ले सर कुछ रह तो नही गया ; थोडा रूका और सोचा पूरी जिन्दगी तो यही आने- जाने मे बीत गई ; अब और क्या रह गया होगा ।
"कुछ रह तो नहीं गया?" शमशान से लौटते वक्त किसी ने पूछा । नहीं कहते हुए वो आगे बढ़ा... पर नजर फेर ली, एक बार पीछे देखने के लिए....पिता  की चिता की सुलगती आग देखकर मन भर आया । भागते हुए गया ,पिता के चेहरे की झलक तलाशने की असफल कोशिश की और वापिस लौट आया ।।
दोस्त ने पूछा... कुछ रह गया था क्या?
भरी आँखों से बोला...नहीं कुछ भी नहीं रहा अब...और जो कुछ भी रह गया है वह सदा मेरे साथ रहेगा ।।
एक बार समय निकालकर सौचे , शायद पुराना समय याद आ जाए, आंखें भर आएं और आज को जी भर जीने का मकसद मिल जाए।।

Respect parents

Something I received on whatsapp worth sharing

Minimum 35 Ways to Respect your Parents. Must read

1. Put away your phone in their
     presence.

2. Pay attention to what they
    are saying.

3. Accept their opinions.

4. Engage in their     
     conversations.

5. Look at them with respect.

6. Always praise them.

7. Share good news with them.

8. Avoid sharing bad news with
    them.

9. Speak well of their friends
    and loved ones to them.

10. Keep in remembrance the 
      good things they did.

11. If they repeat a story, listen
      like it's the first time they
      tell it.

12. Don't bring up painful
       memories from the past.

13. Avoid side conversations in
      their presence.

14. Sit respectfully around
       them.

15. Don't belittle/criticize their
      opinions and thoughts.

16. Avoid cutting them off when    they speak.

17. Respect their age.

18. Avoid hitting/disciplining
      their grandchildren around
      them.

19. Accept their advice and
      direction.

20. Give them the power of 
      leadership when they are
      present.

21. Avoid raising your voice at
      them.

22. Avoid walking in front or
      ahead of them.

23. Avoid eating before them.

24. Avoid glaring at them.

25. Fill them with ur
      appreciation even when
      they don't think they
       deserve it.

26. Avoid putting your feet up in front of them or sitting with your back to them.

27. Don't speak ill of them to
      the point where others
      speak ill of them too.

28. Keep them in your prayers
      always possible.

29. Avoid seeming bored or
      tired of them in their
      presence.

30. Avoid laughing at their
      faults/mistakes.

31. Do a task before they ask
      you to.

32. Continuously visit them.

33. Choose your words carefully    when speaking with them.

34. Call them by names they
       like.

35. Make them your priority
      above anything.

Parents are treasure on this land and sooner than you think, that treasure will be buried. Appreciate your parents while you still can.
Today lets make loads of  duas for our beloved parents, alive or deceased.
������
If U love UR parents please forward to all

PARDON STORY ON SOCIAL SITE

Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was allowed to speak two words. (This was before the time of letter writing or sign language.)

One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love. With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say: 'My Darling'.

But at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her. Because of this he waited three more years without speaking (bringing the total number of silent years to 5).

But at the end of these five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking.

Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds.

Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily, "My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?"

And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind a dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said, "Pardon?"

Lady and her snake

As popular on whatsapp

She Slept With Her Snake And Then The Vet Told Her Something Shocking

This is a true story about a woman from India who lived in the Middle Ages and had a pet snake, python, which she loved so much. The snake was 4 meters long and looked healthy. However, one day her unusual pet just stopped eating.

This lack of appetite in the snake continued over a few weeks. The desperate woman tried everything she could and offered anything that a snake would like to strangle and eat. Nothing worked, and finally the woman took her loving pet to the veterinarian as a last resort.

The vet listened to the woman carefully and asked, “Does your snake sleep with you at night, wrap around you closely and spread out throughout its length?”

The woman was surprised and with a lot of hope she said, “Yes! Yes! It does it every day and it makes me so sad because I see something asking of me, and I cannot help it feel better.”

Then, the vet said something shocking and most unexpected. “Madam, your pet is not sick; it is just preparing to eat you.” Yes, the python wasn’t sick but it has been preparing to eat her instead!

“Every time, it is creeping and “hugging” you, wrapping around your body, it is checking size to weigh how a great meal you are and how it must be prepared before the attack. And yes, it does not eat, in order to have enough space to digest you more easily,” the vet said.

This story comes with a moral – Even people close to you, whom you are very affectionate with, can, have mean intentions. You need to identify the snake around you and their true intent. Hugs and kisses are not always honest.

Don’t fear the enemy that attacks you, but the fake friend that hugs you.

Vitamin F

On whatsapp

VITAMIN F

(I loved this and want to share it with you.)

Why do I have a variety of friends who are all so different in character ? How can I get along with them all?              

I think that each one helps to bring out a "different" part of me.

* With one of them I am polite.

* I joke with another friend.

* I sit down and talk about serious matters with one.

* With another I laugh a lot.

* I may have a drink with one.

* I listen to one friend's problems.

* Then I listen to another one's advice for me.

My friends are all like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. When completed they form a treasure Box !!! We all pray for each other.

Even Doctors tell us that friends are good for our health.

Dr. Oz calls them Vitamin F (for Friends) and counts the benefits of friends as essential to our well being.      

Research shows that people in strong social circles have less risk of depression and terminal strokes.  If you enjoy Vitamin F constantly you can be up to 30 years younger than your real age. 

The warmth of friendship stops stress and even in your most intense moments it decreases the chance of a cardiac arrest or stroke by 50%.

I'm so happy that I have a such a huge stock of Vitamin F����
 
(Thank you for being one of my Vitamins!)

Create ...don't compare life

As received on whatsapp

A guy met one of his school mates several years after school and he could not believe his eyes; his friend was driving one of the latest sleek Mercedes Benz cars. He went home feeling awful and very disappointed in himself. He thought he was a failure. What he didn't know was that his friend was a driver and had been sent to run errands with his boss's car.
.
Rosemary nagged  her husband always for not being romantic. She accused him for not getting down to open the car door for her as her friend Jane's husband did when he dropped her off at work. What Rosemary didn't know that Jane's husband car had a faulty door that could only be opened from the outside.
.
Sampson's wife went to visit one of her long time friends and was very troubled within for seeing the 3 lovely kids of her friend playing around. Her problem was that she had only one child and have been struggling to conceive for the past five years. What she didn't know was that one of those kids who was the biological child of her friend had sickle cell and had just a year to live; the other two are adopted.
.
Life does not have a universal measuring tool so create yours and use it.  Looking at people and comparing yourself with them will not make you better. If you knew the sort of load the chameleon carried, you would'nt ask why it takes those gentle strides. Enjoy what you have.
Gud morning

"अगर तुम्हें किसी को संतरा देना हो, तो क्या बोलोगे...?

As received on whatsapp on 17/03/2016【  एल.एल.बी. की पढ़ाई  】

प्रोफेसर :  "अगर तुम्हें किसी को संतरा देना हो, तो क्या बोलोगे...?

छात्र : "ये संतरा लो...।

प्रोफेसर : नहीं...

एक वकील की तरह बोलो...।

छात्र : मैं हेतराम पुत्र चेतराम निवासी गाँव शिकारपुर, यू०पी० एतद् द्वारा,

अपनी पूरी रुचि व होशो-हवास में और बिना किसी के डर एवंम दबाव में
आए

इस फल, जो कि संतरा कहलाता है,

और जिस पर मैं पूरा मालिकाना हक़ रखता हूँ,

को उसके छिलके, रस, गूदे और बीज सहित आपको देता हूँ

और इसके साथ ही आपको इस बात सम्पूर्ण व बिना शर्त अधिकार भी देता हूँ कि

आप इसे काटने, छीलने, फ्रिज में रखने या खाने के लिये पूरी तरह स्वतंत्र हैं...।

आप यह अधिकार भी रखेंगे कि

आप किसी भी अन्य व्यक्ति को यह फल

इसके छिलके, रस, गूदे और बीज के बिना या उसके साथ दे सकते
हैं..।

मैं घोषणा करता हूं कि

आज से पहले इस संतरे से संबंधित किसी भी प्रकार के वाद विवाद, झगड़े की समस्त जिम्मेदारी मेरी है

और आज के बाद मेरा किसी भी प्रकार से इस संतरे से कोई सम्बन्ध नहीं रह जाएगा...।

प्रोफेसर : प्रभु आपके चरण कहाँ हैं...?

onsocialsites: Why I need MONEY

onsocialsites: Why I need MONEY

Why I need MONEY

I NEED MONEY,
For those,
Whom I adore.
For those wants,
Which are now my needs.
I NEED MONEY,
For the pain,
Which bring tears in my eyes,
For the smile,
Which is miles away.
I NEED MONEY,
For those faces,
Who want to deface me.
For the fame,
Which want to defame me.
I NEED MONEY,
To unshackles the shackles,
Which are holding me.
To do what I can,
But I can't.
I NEED MONEY,
To end the self-imposed,
Solitary confinement,
To unleash

                                                                         Often I say that,

                                                                        ''They do'nt have peace, I do'nt have Money.''

                                                                        ''I hate Money but I need Money.''

                                                                        ''I do'nt know what Money can buy,
                                                                        But I know what is for sale,
                                                                        When you do'nt have any,''

                                                                         ''Money is an evil in veil,
                                                                           And we have to live this evil.''

From
www.ownmyviews.blogspot.com

Lost in your thoughts

Lost in your thoughts, 

Feast of your sight

Beauty bestowed,

What my eyes saw once,

Still wandering, 

In streets,

Searching the streaks, 

Which you left behind, 

Often visiting the shore,

Where you danced before, 

In rain,

Treading softly on pebbles,

Flunged by waves, 

Dripping pearls draped in white; 

Murmurs of you;

Still echoes in my mind,

Everynight

From the window ajar;of Time and space,

Saw you descending like a fairy,

In moonlit night,

On the floor of my heart,

Beat of my heart;when it beat for you first,

Still  vibrant in memories,

Years gone as time flies,

Nice smiles on your face,

Still surface like before,

I seek you; crave for you,

That graceful caress, 

Gentle touch of you; dawn melting in dusk,

Still tickle me within,and;

Trickle all love have for you,

The chill of your touch; descent of love,

Sweeping curves,wish to surf,

In memories fresh, 

Still you come , 

To share my dreams,and;

Ease pains whicheverynight separation weave.

www.ownmyviews.blogspot.com

Sandeep khosla

Two stories

AS RECEIVED ON WHATSAPP

Kaizen Story: Tiger in the toilet

Once a stranded tiger entered the washroom in a corporate office and hid in a dark corner. Since there were people outside the washroom through the day, the tiger was afraid to come out. Many people frequented the washroom, but the frightened tiger didn’t touch anyone. However, after four days it couldn’t bear hunger anymore, so it caught a man who had come in, and ate him. This man happened to be an Assistant General Manager in the organization, but nobody noticed his disappearance. Since nothing untoward happened, the tiger became bolder and after two days caught another man and ate him. This man was the General Manager of the organization. Still, nobody worried over his disappearance (Some people even happy that he was not seen in the office).

Next day, the tiger caught the Vice President who was a terror in the organization. Again nothing happened. The tiger was very happy and decided that this was the perfect place for him to live. The very next day the happy tiger caught a man who had entered the washroom while balancing a tray of teacups in one hand. The frightened man fell unconscious. Within fifteen minutes a huge hue and cry ensued, and everyone in the office started looking for the man. The search team reached the washroom, flushed out the tiger and saved the unconscious man. He was the tea supplier in the office.

Moral of the story:

It is not the position, but our usefulness to others that makes us lovable and respectable.

Acknowledgement: From the book “Tiger in the toilet” by K. Ajayakumar
Gud morning

THE SECOND STORY

A  C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by.

The jet Pilot decided to show off.

The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, “Watch this!”  
And promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a
steep climb.

He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke
the sound barrier.  
The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought
of that? 

The C-130 pilot said, “That was impressive, but watch this!”

The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and then the C-130 pilot came back on and said,
“What did you think of that?”

Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, “What the heck did you do?”

The C-130 pilot chuckled.
“I stood up, stretched my legs, walked  to the back,
used the toilet,  then got a cup of coffee and a  cinnamon roll.”

When you are young & foolish - speed & flash may seem a good thing!

When you get older & smarter -  
comfort & dull is not such a bad thing!
it's called
S O S.  
Slower, Older and Smarter....

To all friends approaching  the S O S  category
����

A little love story

A LITTLE LOVE-STORY
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 :-)
TITLED
"HIEROS GAMOS"
THE GREEK NAME FOR THE HOLY MARRIAGE BETWEEN SPIRIT & MATTER -

"FROM NOW ON, ETERNALLY & INFINITELY, WE WILL BE ONE ! ! !" SPIRIT PROPOSES TO THE RESURRECTED & PURIFIED SOUL -

NO MORE SEPARATION BETWEEN THE TWO LOVERS -
&
THE FRUIT OF THEIR LOVE :

THE IMMORTAL LOVELIGHT CHILD:

Y O U . . . . . . & I T - A L L . . . .

&
IT HAS ALREADY HAPPENED ! ! !  

:-))))))))))))) <3 <3 (((((((((((((-:

delicious chicken

AS RECEIVED on WHATSAPP



Four brothers left home for college, and they became
successful doctors and lawyers.

One evening, they chatted after having dinner together.
They discussed the 95th birthday gifts they were able
to give their elderly mother who moved to Florida .

The first said, "You know I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, "And I had a large theater built in the house."

The third said, "And I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible
and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well.
I met this preacher who told me about a parrot who could recite the entire Bible.
It took ten preachers almost 8 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute
$50,000 a year for five years to the church, but it was worth it.
Mama only has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed.
After the celebration Mama sent out her "Thank You" notes.

She wrote: Milton , the house you built is so huge that I live in only one room,
but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered,
so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound and it can hold 50 people,
but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing, and I'm nearly blind.
I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious! Thank you so much." 😂😂

lovely 3rd march on whatsapp

[7:40AM, 02/03/2016] ‪+91 99885 00848‬: 🌳
मृत्यु के बाद भी पुण्य कमाने के 7 (सात) आसान उपाय ।

.🔜 (1)= किसी को धार्मिक ग्रन्थ भैंट करे जब भी कोई उसका पाठ करेगा आप को पुण्य मिलेगा ।

🔜(2)= एक व्हीलचेयर किसी अस्पताल मे दान करे जब भी कोई मरीज उसका उपयोग करेगा पुण्य आपको मिलेगा।

श🔜(3)= किसी अन्नक्षेत्र के लिये मासिक ब्याज वाली एफ. डी बनवादे जब भी उसकी ब्याज से कोई भोजन करेगा आपको पुण्य मिलेगा

🔜 (4)=किसी पब्लिक प्लेस पर वाटर कूलर लगवाएँ हमेशा पुण्य मिलेगा।

🔜(5)= किसी अनाथ को शिक्षित करो वह और उसकी पीढ़ियाँ भी आपको दुआ देगी तो आपको पुण्य मिलेगा।
याद रहे औलाद तो अपना हक समझती है जरा भी कमी रह जाय तो मरणोपराँत भी गाली देती है कि हमारे लिये किया ही क्या।

🔜(6)= अपनी औलाद को परोपकारी बना सके तो सदैव पुण्य मिलता रहेगा।

🔜( 7)= सबसे आसान है कि आप ये बाते औरों को बताये किसी एक ने भी अमल किया तो आपको पुण्य मिलेगा..... , जन्नत में आप के नाम के पुण्य के 🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳 लगते रहेगे और आपको 🍎 मिलते रहेंगे इसलिये रुकिये नही निरंतर लगे रहिये....................................................
[8:48AM, 02/03/2016] ‪+91 99885 00848‬: तुम्हें आता तो है हूनर मेरी खामोशी पढ़ने का
यह अलग बात है कि जवाब से किनारा करते हो ।।
[8:48AM, 02/03/2016] ‪+91 99885 00848‬: शहर में हर शख्स ने वसीयत में शराफत पायी है..मैं हैरान हूँ सोचकर कि ये बेईमानी कहाँ से आई है..🤔
[8:48AM, 02/03/2016] ‪+91 99885 00848‬: ना हम रहे दिल लगाने के क़ाबिल,
ना दिल रहा गम उठाने के क़ाबिल,
लगा उसकी यादों से जो ज़ख़्म दिल पर,
ना छोड़ा उस ने मुस्कुराने के क़ाबिल.
[8:48AM, 02/03/2016] ‪+91 99885 00848‬: शायरी करना भी तो एक नेकी का काम है,,,,
कितने बिछड़े हुए लफ़्जो को मिला देता हूँ...!!
[12:08PM, 02/03/2016] ‪+91 99885 00848‬: Today's Joke

पत्नी: आप बहुत भोले हैं... आपको कोई भी बेवकूफ बना देता है


पति: शुरुआत तो तेरे बाप ने की थी .😜😜😜
[2:08PM, 02/03/2016] ‪+91 99885 00848‬: पति : कहाँ गयी थी??

पत्नी : रक्तदान करने…

पति : पीती थी तब तक तो ठीक था, अब बेचने भी लगी..!
😜😝😁😂
[8:29AM, 03/03/2016] +918528913108: अयोध्या से वापस आने पर मां कौशल्या ने पूछा...
"रावण" को मार दिया ?

 भगवन श्रीराम ने सुन्दर जवाब दिया...

महाज्ञानी, महाप्रतापी, महाबलशाली, प्रखंड पंडित, महा शिवभक्त, चारो वेदो के ज्ञाता, शिव ताण्डवस्त्रोत के रचयिता लंकेश को मैंने नहीं मारा,

उसे "मै" ने मारा है।
[8:54AM, 03/03/2016] +918528913108: कमबल और रजाई को
                  अब कर दो माफ,
कूलर और ए.सी.को
                 अब कर लो साफ,
पसीना छूटेगा अब
                     दिन और रात,
दोनों वक्त नहाने से ही अब
                     बनेगी बात,
अपनी Nature में भी
                     रखना नरमी,
मेरी तरफ से आप सभी को
              'Happy Garmi'
          🙉🙈🙊😜😜
[8:54AM, 03/03/2016] +918528913108: रण बीच चौकड़ी भर-भर कर
चेतक बन गया निराला था
राणाप्रताप के घोड़े से
पड़ गया हवा का पाला था

जो तनिक हवा से बाग हिली
लेकर सवार उड़ जाता था
राणा की पुतली फिरी नहीं
तब तक चेतक मुड़ जाता था

गिरता न कभी चेतक तन पर
राणाप्रताप का कोड़ा था
वह दौड़ रहा अरिमस्तक[1] पर
वह आसमान का घोड़ा था

था यहीं रहा अब यहाँ नहीं
वह वहीं रहा था यहाँ नहीं
थी जगह न कोई जहाँ नहीं
किस अरिमस्तक पर कहाँ नहीं

निर्भीक गया वह ढालों में
सरपट दौडा करबालों में
फँस गया शत्रु की चालों में

बढ़ते नद-सा वह लहर गया
फिर गया गया फिर ठहर गया
विकराल वज्रमय बादल-सा
अरि[2] की सेना पर घहर गया

भाला गिर गया गिरा निसंग
हय[3] टापों से खन गया अंग
बैरी समाज रह गया दंग
घोड़े का ऐसा देख रंग
[8:54AM, 03/03/2016] +918528913108: हठ कर बैठा चाँद एक दिन माता से यह बोला

सिलवा दो माँ मुझे उन का मोटा एक झिंगोला
सन सन करती हवा रात भर जड़े में मरता हूँ
ठिठुर ठिठुर कर किसी तरह यात्रा पूरी करता हूँ
आसमान का सफ़र और यह मौसम है जाड़े का
न हो अगर तो ला दो मुझको कुर्ता ही भाड़े का
बच्चे की सुन बात कहा माता ने अरे सलोने
कुशल करे भगवान लगे मत तुझको जादू टोने
जाड़े की तो बात ठीक है पर मैं तो डरती हूँ
एक नाप में कभी नहीं तुझको देखा करती हूँ
कभी एक अंगुल भर चौड़ा कभी एक फुट मोटा
बड़ा किसी दिन हो जाता है और किसी दिन छोटा
घटता बढ़ता रोज किसी दिन ऐसा भी करता है
नहीं किसी की भी आँखों को दिखलाई पड़ता है
अब तू यही बता नाप तेरा किस रोज लिवायें?
सी दें एक झिंगोला जो हर रोज बदन में आए
[8:54AM, 03/03/2016] +918528913108: एकबूँद
ज्यों निकल कर बादलों की गोद से।
थी अभी एक बूँद कुछ आगे बढ़ी।।
सोचने फिर फिर यही जी में लगी।
आह क्यों घर छोड़कर मैं यों बढ़ी।।
दैव मेरे भाग्य में क्या है बढ़ा।
में बचूँगी या मिलूँगी धूल में।।
या जलूँगी गिर अंगारे पर किसी।
चू पडूँगी या कमल के फूल में।।
बह गयी उस काल एक ऐसी हवा।
वह समुन्दर ओर आई अनमनी।।
एक सुन्दर सीप का मुँह था खुला।
वह उसी में जा पड़ी मोती बनी।।
लोग यों ही है झिझकते, सोचते।
जबकि उनको छोड़ना पड़ता है घर।।
किन्तु घर का छोड़ना अक्सर उन्हें।
बूँद लौं कुछ और ही देता है कर।।
[8:54AM, 03/03/2016] +918528913108: उठो लाल अब आँखे खोलो
पानी लाई हूँ मुँह धो लो

बीती रात कमल दल फूले
उनके ऊपर भंवरे डोले

चिड़िया चहक उठी पेड़ पर
बहने लगी हवा अति सुंदर

नभ में न्यारी लाली छाई
धरती ने प्यारी छवि पाई

भोर हुआ सूरज उग आया
जल में पड़ी सुनहरी छाया

ऐसा सुंदर समय न खोओ
मेरे प्यारे अब मत सोओ
[8:54AM, 03/03/2016] +918528913108: काली-काली कू-कू करती,
जो है डाली-डाली फिरती!
       कुछ अपनी हीं धुन में ऐंठी
       छिपी हरे पत्तों में बैठी
जो पंचम सुर में गाती है
वह हीं कोयल कहलाती है.
        जब जाड़ा कम हो जाता है
        सूरज थोड़ा गरमाता है
तब होता है समा निराला
जी को बहुत लुभाने वाला
         हरे पेड़ सब हो जाते हैं
         नये नये पत्ते पाते हैं
कितने हीं फल औ फलियों से
नई नई कोपल कलियों से
         भली भांति वे लद जाते हैं
         बड़े मनोहर दिखलाते हैं
रंग रंग के प्यारे प्यारे
फूल फूल जाते हैं सारे
         बसी हवा बहने लगती है
         दिशा सब महकने लगती है
तब यह मतवाली होकर
कूक कूक डाली डाली पर
         अजब समा दिखला देती है
         सबका मन अपना लेती है
लडके जब अपना मुँह खोलो
तुम भी मीठी बोली बोलो
          इससे कितने सुख पाओगे
          सबके प्यारे बन जाओगे.

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[11:10PM, 01/03/2016] ‪+91 98152 25835‬: कमबल और रजाई को
                  अब कर दो माफ,
कूलर और ए.सी.को
                 अब कर लो साफ,
पसीना छूटेगा अब
                     दिन और रात,
दोनों वक्त नहाने से ही अब
                     बनेगी बात,
अपनी Nature में भी
                     रखना नरमी,
मेरी तरफ से आप सभी को
              'Happy Garmi'
          🙉🙈🙊😜😜
[7:29AM, 02/03/2016] ‪+91 98152 25835‬: Wife: kaisi lag rahi hu mai aaj? 💁💁

Husband : waah.. 👄👄Kya baat hai, aaj to bilkul Priyanka Chopra lag rahi ho.

Wife : Sacchi? 💃💃💃. DON waali ya KRRISH waali?




Husband : BURFI waali...... 😈😈😈😀😀😀
[7:55AM, 02/03/2016] ‪+91 98152 25835‬: शॉपिंग महँगी ब्यूटी पार्लर महंगा.. रेस्तरां महंगा
ज्वेलरी महंगी..
न बीबी रखी है ..
न रखने दूंगा ...
Narendra modi.. बजट 2016...
[8:06AM, 02/03/2016] ‪+91 89852 66802‬: सुख चाहते हो तो रात मे jagna नहीं,

शांति चाहते हो तो दिन में sona नहीं,

सम्मान चाहते हो तो व्यर्थ bolna नहीं,

प्यार चाहते हो तो ye group छोड़ना नही...

😘👍😊👌
"हमारी कोई दूसरी ब्रांच नहीं है"
नकली ग्रुप से सावधान
😜😝😛😃😃😃


....💫दिनभर खूब मुस्कुराइये,
मगर दिनमे एक बार तो
"GROUP" में हाज़री लगाइये...🙏😀
[9:12AM, 03/03/2016] ‪+91 98141 44728‬: 👌‎परख‬ 👌

     बडो से बात करने का
     तरीका आपकी
     "तमीज" बताता है .

      और छोटों से बात
      करने का तरीका
      आपकी "परवरिश ".

      अपने शब्दों में ताकत
      डालें आवाज में नहीं

      क्यूंकि बारिश से फूल
      उगते हैं, बाढ़ से नहीं...
🌹🌹
[9:13AM, 03/03/2016] ‪+91 89852 66802‬: एक पंजाबी ने चाइना में चाय की दुकान खोली
नाम रखा : "पंजाब टी स्टाल"
दुकान ज्यादा दिनों तक नहीं चली तो
किसी ने सलाह दी कि अगर चाइना में तरक्की करनी है तो
नाम भी चाइनीज रखो
अब उसकी दुकान अच्छी चल रही है क्योंकि
दुकान का नाम रखा है : "कोसी कोसी चा फू फू कर के पी"😊😊
[9:13AM, 03/03/2016] ‪+91 89852 66802‬: अगर आप toothpaste की ad को ध्यान से देखे तो
आप
हर dentist के गले मे
एक stethoscope पाएंगे ....

दुनिया का एक ऐसा dentist बता दो जो stethoscope से दातों की धड़कन सुनता हो !!





 पैसे से तो सिर्फ किताबे खरीदी जा सकती है,
ज्ञान to hum se ही मिलेगा....!!!!!!!!!!!😜😜😜